And this one.
Well, we all know by now that I really suck at this whole keeping up with the blog thing, but, I am going to change. It is my goal to post at the very least two times a week from now on.
I believe the main reason I have been slacking on posting on my blog is because of the little distractions I have in my life right now. I am not super busy or lazy, but more of that I love to learn knew things and sometimes that is a major cause for my forgetfulness in my life. I want to learn all that is around me but I get to entrapped in the little things to catch my breath and focus on what matters most at the moment. I want to share one of the other goals I have for myself. I want to show my love for people more and show that I truly do care for them, even if sometimes it may not seem so. I am a very secretive person when it comes to my feelings. I find it hard to show how I really feel. I have a fear of being judged, a really big fear of it. Because of this fear, I do not express how I feel to and about others. I was picked on for reasons that I do not fully understand. I do not know exactly why the Lord put me through what he did. I would love to know now, but that, from what I understand, is out of the picture for now.
Around my 19th birthday, I started to realize some things in my life. I do not want to watch movies/tv that have even a little bit of inappropriateness in them anymore, or even read books and magazines that did so. Now don't get me wrong. I am not perfect nor will I ever be in this life. I will stumble and maybe even smash my face on the ground every now and then, but, I will still try my hardest to stay strong in my beliefs. I always talk about how I will not read Harry Potter because of the base of the story, witchcraft. I tell people that I will not ever read the Twilight saga or even the Hunger Games series. Since when have vampires, or teens fighting other teens for life ever been ok? Never. I wont go into detail to save you the eyesore. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am preparing now for the time when I will have to prove evil wrong in front of many, or even few. I feel that Halloween is not an appropriate holiday for me to be celebrating. The whole, lets dress up as something that is not real or even close to being appropriate to party and get candy or be seen is not acceptable in my eyes. I do not want to just live. I want to stand and be steadfast in my beliefs(at least, as close as I can to it). I will not watch The Notebook or Titanic because of the strong sexual content. Movies like those are made to stir up feeling in the human body that are not to be used outside the sacred covenant of marriage. I know it to be true because I was watching one of the mentioned movies and noticed somethings were not right at all with how my body was reacting to the content of these scenes. The sounds, lighting, dress and appearance of the characters and dialog were put together just for the sole purpose of making the body want more. More visual pleasure. More intense emotional "connection" to the character(s). Now you might not believe me on this unless you have experienced this for yourself. I am not saying that you should go out and rent the latest chick flick with strong content in it to test the waters but, that you should be cautious of what you will allow your body to be submitted too. Just the smallest of all tastes will cause a fiery furnace to burn inside you until you have lost all control and can only turn to your Creator our Father for the help to free yourself from the evil that encases you. A lot of people can go through life without this "taste" even affecting them to the slightest bit at all. But, there are many who fall prey to the evil of the world because they did not care for trying to stay strong or maybe they just slipped once and that was the fall of their life. You can get up after, if you choose to be humble and give all you can to stand for what you knew all along was right. There is always a better life than what you are living right now. You may have a wonderful life and not even begin to fathom how your life could get any better because of the rich and mighty blessings that the Lord has so happily placed in your lap but, I know it can and Will get better.
I am supposed to move to UT for something. I do not know what it is at the moment, but when it comes I will be so grateful for the choice I made to follow the prompting that the Holy Spirit gave me back in Oct. I am really curious to know what it is. Is it possibly marriage? Maybe a job? Or maybe I am supposed to help someone who can only be helped by me alone. I want to know but at the same time I really want to be surprised. If it is marriage, I would be perfectly content with me ending up with a baby soon after:).
I should probably go to bed now and stop this whole, type everything that is in my head right now. For if I keep going I might end up telling some secrets that just might make you think of me as a weirdo.
So goodnight, sleep tight and sweet dreams.
XOXO Sarahboolove <3