Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Knots in my stomach and other things.

I don't know why but I have had knots in my stomach for the past 4-5 hours. I know that they are not from thinking about school or work. Why are they there? Is it part of a sixth sense? A random thought hiding in the back of my brain? Is something supposed to happen? So many questions but, no answer. I had these knots last week for a few hours a day then they came back Monday morning. I am puzzled as to why I keep feeling this way. I have been thinking about things that have happened these past couple of days and the past few weeks they may be the cause of this feeling. Last time I had such a feeling it found out that I was supposed to move to Utah. Am I going to move somewhere? Is there someone who I will be meeting that will make a big difference in my life or that I am going to impact? Have I already met this person? I know. I need to stop questioning so much and just relax a little. Breath   

I have two days left at school before the semester ends. It is crazy to think that we are done next week. My teachers said that it would fly by. I remembered them saying it. It is crazy that it has happened. I got two jobs and am finishing up this semester. I will finally be able to continue my treatment for my braces! I am excited! I have to call in the morning to make the appointments to start again. I hope that they have openings for next week or the week after that. I don't want to wait any longer than that. Don't get me wrong. I love these bad boys to death. They are fixing my teeth and I love them for it. I am not looking forward to the adjusting though. It will be just like the very first time. I will rest that day. Hopefully I can get a Friday appointment.

Hmm. Thoughts. On texting that is. I was remembering back on a night that I spent with some people. Everyone was on their phone at one point. It lasted about 5 minutes. Yes. I did count the minutes. I was so sad. I don't think that I showed it to them. I could not believe that someone let alone 4 people would be so disrespectful as to hop on their phones and just pay attention to them. I did not get on my phone that night. I don't think I even looked at it for the rest of the evening. I was so sick of it. I wanted to throw all electronic devices away because of the stupidity of them. Why would you let yourself lose all respect for the company that you had and focus just on a phone. Why is the person on the other end more important that me or any of the other people at the table. Am I overreacting to this? No. Never. It should not be OK to turn away from people when you can't think of something to say. Ask about their toothbrush. The latest drug raid. What they think of their hometown. So many things to think of. If, by chance, you draw a blank. Pull out your fancy phone to Google questions to ask but tell them first. Say that you want to ask some crazy questions and are going to look for a fun list. I am sure that one could find a rather extensive list of things to ask that could lead to a conversation so amazing that one would forget everything in the world because it is so cool. I am glad that I don't have a smart phone. I think that I would become dumber from it. When I had my iPod Touch I did not put any type of game on it. I did not want to waste my life on a game. I also did not want to be disrespectful of anyone and shut them out because I thought that in that moment my electronic device was worth more in the world than they were.

Can I just also add that I do not like texting? I can't feel their emotion. I am unable to see the pain or happiness that they are currently feeling. I want to understand you. Not guess about what I think you might have meant. I love to write(hence the blog). I love to understand people through writing but nowadays people have these short blurbs that they send back and forth. Then they complain about not knowing the person. Well then, get off the phone and talk in person. Like a real human being. Or call them up. If you are unsure about whether or not they can talk send them a text to ask first. I believe that I am one of the select few who still text like they send an email. Not a brb, lol, ttyl or gtg. But a "Hey how are you doing today?". I will sometimes put "What's up?" in a message but for the most part I do not like this text lingo. I can't understand it or the person that is sending it. I misunderstand things all the time because of how little wording people use. Sorry if my reply has nothing to do with what you were thinking. It had everything to so with what I thought you meant though. I am just not able to catch what you were trying to say in your four word message. I do still text though. I have not completely given up on it. I will text you if I really want to talk to you. Or I will text you about where we are meeting to hang out. I would rather talk to you in person. I like talking to people. No matter how nervous I get, I still prefer talking to texting someone any day of the week. I feel like I can be a better friend if I talked in person to them.

Well I will stop complaining now.

Goodnight world!

-Sarah <3

Saturday, May 11, 2013

End of the semester-ish.

This is the weekend of the third to last week of school. Lets just say that I did not really enjoy this semester as much as I could have. I will admit it. I have homework that was due weeks ago to finish this next week. I lost all motivation to do it. I am slowly getting it done now. At the end of the semester. Exactly what I did not want to do. I wanted to study my rear end off for the best grades possible. That did not last. I am going to take this as a major learning experience. I will try harder next time. I will do my best. I will not let doubt cross my mind and destroy a semester of school for me. Yeah, I am only at a junior college but still. It is part of my life that I need to focus more on. I want to have my A.A. in a couple of years. I won't have had amazing grades but I will have reached my goal of a degree if the Lord will allow me to finish before my children come along.

I work as a fill in at a preschool right now along with my part time job at a caramel company. I love both of my jobs! They are so fun. I really enjoy being able to have two totally different jobs. It is good to experience different work ethics and environments. I was playing with the kids outside today and was thinking about my future. When will I get to have children of my own? I know. I have to find the daddy of these kids first. But I really was putting in a lot of thought today. I love these little ones and am kinda sad when I have to leave at the end of my shift. I really love their sweet spirits and little voices. They are so cute and loving. One of them told me today when I was preparing lunch that me loved me. I was so touched by his words that I was taken  aback for a minute. He barely knows me and yet he loves me. I can't even begin to comprehend the love that  my Savoir and Heavenly Father have for me when they know me so much more than this little boy. It makes me wonder what kind of love other little kids and people have for me even if they know me from running into each other at the store or church. It is crazy to think about. I can't possibly imagine life without love. I was talking to a friend the other night, I asked what they would do for their last day on earth. I was happy to hear that they would spend their last day helping others and giving everything that they could while having fun and making memories for family and friends. It was so nice to hear what someone else had to say about the subject. I found it very comforting to know that there are people who care so much for others that they would spend their last day of life on this earth serving others.

I will be going to Sac for a lecture on real estate in the morning. The Property Brothers will be the ones speaking. I am excited to learn about real estate. Even if I don't get a job in that field it will still be helpful to know about that stuff. But now I need to hop off to bed now. I need to be up bright and early.